HEY, LETS ROLE PLAY.
So today I have a friend back on my page. If you’ve been following my blog, you will remember a post from a while back on “Curiosity kills the copycat” Written by my dear friend Miss S.
On todays post she is back again to share her thoughts on a topic we both talked about passionately and share very similar views on.
Read, enjoy and Leave a comment.
So I watched a video recently on ‘the shade room’ where a couple argued if the rent should be split 50-50. As usual, I rushed to the comment section and I was appalled by some opinions.
So, here’s my two cents.
First things first: DON’T compare your woman to ‘your buddies’. There’s a lot of things she does for you that ‘your buddies’ will never be able to do. So, you can’t say things like ‘but my friends and I split’. SHE’S NOT YOUR ROOM MATE! Secondly, are you still ‘THE MAN’ of the home if you actually say the words: “we’ll split the bills 50/50?!”
Call me old school but I still believe in the man being the HEAD not only when it’s convenient, but in terms of providing as well. 🙂
I’ve noticed that people often jump on the “so where does the equality come in?” train. That is honestly the dumbest question because it just shows that not only are you low key against women having equal RIGHTS and OPPORTUNITIES as men in the society, you also do not understand that roles and responsibilities with equality and tools for success are two different topics. Simple: Equality vs Equity! Know the difference and understand which to apply in the home. ‘Mommy’ and ‘daddy’ have separate roles to play in the home and none of these roles can/should be substituted for the other or taken for granted. If we’re going to abuse ‘equality’, how about I get my man a bouquet of roses on Father’s Day instead of the play station he really wants. Weird right?
YES, women take on major roles in today’s economy, and yes, men are delving into jobs that were once considered too feminine. BUT, a man will never be able to breast feed a baby in the home. A man will never have to deal with saggy boobs after child birth, or weight gain and constant scrutiny from the society. A man will never be able to pop a baby, neither will companies ever have paternity leave included in their employment provisions (except in special cases. Still, they’re called parental leave).
When I see a baby who’s unkept and appears malnourished, I don’t ask: “where’s his/her dad”, the first thing that comes to mind is “where is her mother!” Are these the only things that define women and make us who we are? OF COURSE NOT.
A man’s natural born instinct and mindset is to “provide and protect”, even Animals have proven this to be true. If a man has a problem with providing for the home under very normal and ideal circumstances, that’s a problem! Note that I said ‘under ideal circumstances’. If he has a well paying job, and he has the ability to, then he should take pride in ‘leading’ the home as should be.
Its important I stress the fact that I do NOT support women who sit at home without any source of income or investment. Neither do I support a woman who spends her lifetime just collecting, that’s not advisable in my opinion. Love gives and continues giving. The duty of the woman in the home is to SUPPORT. The bible makes this pretty clear in 1Timothy 5:8
If the man is not stable enough financially, then absolutely, the woman must work to ensure that her husband wakes up every morning knowing that he doesn’t bear the burden of providing alone. In the same token, if the woman earns more, the man must show appreciation should she decide to take on major financial responsibilities in the home. What I am trying to say is I don’t care about how the bill is split in your home, I don’t care about the ratio- 50:50, 60:40, 80:20, 100:0, circumstances determine these things. What I care about is the mindset of both parties, specifically the MAN.
My goal, as a woman and a wife and mother to be, is to work hard enough that my children grow up cultivating the habit of hard work, and to ensure that my husband never suffers a tiny bit of stress due to bearing it all alone. This is me.
In premarital class, there are series of assessments after every session. There’s a particular assessment where guys and girls are asked to rank what matters the most to them in a relationship separately. 100% of the time, girls end up needing LOVE and SECURITY the most, while guys end up with RESPECT and PEACE of mind as their most valued. Surprise? I don’t think so. Live with it or don’t, our needs and wants are completely different.